The wedding ceremony was associated with the newlyweds’ entry into the other family, and for the bride, into the local community as well. The mediator in this process was the matchmaker, who had to be married. He would gather information about young women preparing for marriage and, using allegorical language while pretending to be a merchant looking for livestock, would negotiate with their parents (the young man and woman did not publicly express their own opinions).
In Lithuania Minor, the matchmaker, carrying a hazel stick decorated with rue, would ride to propose three times; upon the matchmaker’s second visit, the father would offer him a drink, and on the third visit, he would treat him to a hearty meal. The young woman who agreed to marry would tie tokens of her consent—intended for the matchmaker and the groom’s parents—to the matchmaker’s stick: two towels, a handkerchief, and a sash, while her friends would decorate the horse with greenery. On the fourth visit, the matchmaker would arrive with the groom, accompanied by his relatives.
Homemade wedding ceremonies used to be held: the newlyweds would “get drunk,” and after the ceremonial dance, the bride’s sister and the groom’s brother would put the couple to bed in the barn. After the church wedding, on the way home, the matchmaker and the groomsmen had to pay to open the roadside barriers and gates. During one of the traditional rituals (the “gaubtuves”), the bride’s braids were undone, her hair was trimmed, and her wreath and ribbons were replaced with a cap or a veil.
The newlywed was sometimes “initiated” into her new role as a housewife: she was presented with a pine broom and a fire poker. On the morning of the wedding, after the bride had presented gifts to her husband’s family and been “toasted” by them, she became a member of the family; and upon entering the sauna with bread after the communal feast, she was accepted into the community of women. A week later, the newlyweds would visit the bride’s parents, and two weeks later, the bride’s parents would visit the newlyweds, thereby confirming their mutual kinship.
Sources: Encyclopedia of Lithuania Minor, Reflections of Traditional Lithuanian Clothing and Attire in the Works of Ieva Simonaitytė